just a lot of random thoughts...

I feel like I have so many things on my mind but then I open up a "new post" and get so intimidated by all the white, open space. I stare at it, and all of my thoughts go out the window. But right now, the house is quiet and I don't really like it. I'm trying to pretend that by typing this I'm actually talking to somebody.

First of all...I can't believe that I just said I didn't like my house being quiet right now. I complain about all the noise in this house pretty much daily and I am constantly begging for some quiet. I guess I do want it to be quiet, but with people still around me. The kids are in bed and Curtis is out of town and I am completely alone in my room. I would much rather it be quiet in the house with Curtis sitting next to me watching Bones, or Ande sitting with me on the bed reading his first chapter book with me...

Anyways, this week has been quite a whirlwind of emotion. Curtis' birthday was yesterday and he turned the big 28! I really love that guy.

(lot's of boys...one tiny book)

He brings so much fun and laughter into our home. He is much better at calming toddler tantrums than I am. He just has a magical way of getting the kids to laugh instead of pout or cry. He is a great father and husband and I definitely don't tell him that enough. For his birthday, he got to go on a 4 day camping trip with his brothers and I am so excited for him, even though we miss him like crazy. Every time I see his shoe on the floor, or put his laundry away I get all sad and stuff. It's pitiful. 

So Curtis is gone and that has been crazy, and then there was that day this week that I had to call poison control for the first time... Don't worry everybody is fine now, but it was the scariest 30  minutes of my life.

But after all that...the craziest thing that happened this week was that I realized my little Milo is getting too big, too fast.

I picked him up from the nursery at the gym the other day and almost freaked out when they handed him over to me. He was SO big! I hold him all day long, every day, but it felt as if I hadn't seen him in a month and he was suddenly much heavier than usual. I wanted to cry. His two front teeth have just broken through the gums, and I feel like it is the beginning of the end to his baby-hood. I have noticed such a change in the look of my boys when they get their front teeth. It makes them look so much older...no more gummy smile. Milo has been testing his standing abilities this week too, taking his hands off the couch, or whatever he is holding, for a quick second to see if he can stay balanced. Why does time go by faster and faster with each child? It stinks. It really stinks.

Tonight, as I nursed Milo and rocked him before bed, I just soaked up every moment. Instead of letting my mind wander as I stare into the dark room as usual, I listened so intently to his little coos as he ate. He makes the sweetest little sounds and giggles as he calms himself down for sleep and I want to remember it forever.

OK. Thanks for listening. Thirty minutes of typing has gotten me a little more used to the silence and I think I can go catch up on some shows now before I go to bed...