Monday, November 7, 2011

I don't know how it happened.

Things were really crazy when Owen was born.
I was stressed out.

I was worried that Ande wasn't getting enough attention.

I was worried they wouldn't nap at the same time and I'd never get a minute alone.

And I was worried that Owen would eat for an hour and still be hungry.

Somewhere along the way, in all that stress and worry, Owen stopped nursing.
I don't know how it happened.
The satisfaction that he couldn't find from me, came much easier with a bottle.
He starting drinking formula, and I started to calm down a little.
What used to take 1 1/2 hours, now only takes 5 minutes.
I have more time for myself, and more time for Ande.

But I'm still worried...
Is he still going to bond with me?
Does he notice when I walk into the room?
Will he love me as much as Ande does?
I don't know.


  1. you are so sweet! i like to think babies will always love their mommas:)

  2. Lindsay, as long as you are showing that baby love and giving him your time and attention, he will bond with you, notice you and love you just as much as Ande does. It doesn't matter where Owen gets his calories. Don't let anyone tell you differently. What matters is where he gets love from and that's something you can provide. Focus on that. :)

  3. Ah yes. I'm still fighting the 1 1/2 feeds... feeding and then still giving a bottle after because she didn't get enough... the guilt... the frustration... I understand completely. There are days when I don't breast feed at all because it is so frustrating but then that just makes the next day worse when I try again. So I try and pump for the feedings that she gets formula, which means I really have no free time since I do that when she's sleeping... it's just a terrible cycle. But we do what we do and life will go on. The babies will be ok with boobie milk or formula. In fact I tell David that it's probably really good she does get formula since my diet is horrible! :) I just hate how people judge and try to tell you how to "fix" your problem. I'm pretty sure it isn't their business to help me, but every mom out there wants to offer their 5 cents, so here's mine to ya... just kidding! But really, here's my advice. Your kids will love you no matter what, and they will be just fine no matter what. Just enjoy your cute baby! :)

  4. Dear Lindsay, yes, yes, and yes. I know a lot of some cherish the time they get to spend breastfeeding their babies, and I certainly believe it's ideal. But it's also not always practical, or possible. When I decided to bottle feed my babies, it was such a relief. I just wasn't up to the task of breastfeeding at the time. I know it can be hard to let go of the guilt that we feel as new mothers (and new-again mothers), but try to give yourself a break. You are doing something amazing and wonderful in raising those two little boys, and giving Ande attention and keeping yourself sane are SO important. I know that my babies love me, and I know that bottle feeding is best for us right now. The best advice I cam give is to pray for reassurance that what you're doing is best for your family. I know it's hard; hang in there!